I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Terrible idea I love it
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
