I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize