No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
