Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
