I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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