i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
