My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
