my being single is dangerous.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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