even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
