dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize