discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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