Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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