I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
