Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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