So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize