He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
