Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Use "feeling words"
Yay
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
