Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
