Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
