Where is the hickey?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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