I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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