He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
