NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
