Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
