She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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