on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize