we're making bets on your personal life
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
