Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
