belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Randomize
