You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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