You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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