How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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