so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
