Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize