we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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