I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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