So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
