who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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