Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
