"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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