shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
