Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize