my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just want nice things and good sex
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
