it was like his penis was on wheels.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
