Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
