Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
