5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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