Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
