I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
