I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
