dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
