He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
