How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
