Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
