so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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