All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
