Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
