If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
